Wednesday, October 17, 2018
Parenting & Relationships

Tell Me About It: Social daughter pushes mom’s boundaries

Social daughter pushes momís boundaries

Q: So I am an introvert, and it has taken me years to finally accept this and allow myself to be happy alone, rather than constantly trying to appease my extroverted family with attempts to socialize that ultimately just made me feel like a wallflower.

My son is like me, but my daughter got the extrovert gene, and has more friends than hairs on her head. She seems to thrive in big crowds. She is still at an age in which I need to supervise her social engagements, and I often feel like the odd person out in the mother groups, who can chat easily with each other while I hide behind my Kindle.

Any advice for this wallflower mother as she tries to navigate her social-butterfly daughterís activities?

Introvert

A: My advice for any child-rearing-related problem that (1) is not dangerous, merely taxing/annoying, and (2) will eventually go away, is to give yourself permission to piece together ways to get through it. So, yeah, Kindle.

But do step away from it sometimes for limited stretches. Itíll facilitate your daughterís deeper friendships ó kids get invited many places through parents óand model for her the importance of getting out of our comfort zones. Even if she doesnít understand it now, itís a seed for later.

Plus, you might make a few nice connections in spite of yourself that you can turn into quiet coffee visits.

Wrestling with the idea of having children

Q: Iíve just crested the mid-30s hump and I still canít decide whether or not I want to try to have kids. My husband is equally agnostic. How do you know when you know, you know?

Bio Clock is Ticking

A: You donít want-want kids, so just decide not to have them.

Then live with that decision for a while. See how it fits. It is, after all, the far easier decision to reverse if you change your mind.

Comments
Top things to do in Tampa Bay this week: MarineQuest, Dia de los Muertos, Brian Kilmeade and more

Top things to do in Tampa Bay this week: MarineQuest, Dia de los Muertos, Brian Kilmeade and more

Top things to do in Tampa Bay this week: MarineQuest, a Dia de los Muertos celebration and Fox co-host Brian Kilmeade.
Published: 10/17/18
5 things to do under $5 this week: Pops in the Park, Circus McGurkis

5 things to do under $5 this week: Pops in the Park, Circus McGurkis

On our list for Oct. 18-24: Free concerts in the park by the Florida Orchestra, free trolley rides in Ybor and a Native American flute gathering.
Published: 10/17/18

Tell Me About It: Friendís inability to make plans feels like ghosting

Q: A former co-worker/friend moved about an hour away several years ago. We were close, texting, talking multiple times a day. Once she moved, that slowed down to a meal a couple times a year and intermittent texts/calls.Since last year, I have been ...
Published: 10/17/18

Tell Me About It: Momís offer to help with twin newborns is rejected

Q: My son and daughter-in-law are expecting twins, their first children together ó she has older children. My husband and I have enjoyed a warm and happy relationship with them and live nearby.My son is a twin so I am fully aware of the need for extr...
Published: 10/16/18

Tell Me About It: Caring mom takes in sonís friend as part of the family

Q: My sonís best friend since middle school has been living in my guest room for a couple of months now, since his 18th birthday. His home situation has been very unstable for the past few years since his parents split up, and he bounced around their...
Published: 10/15/18
Hillsborough County Fair opens Thursday in Dover with Dollar Day admission

Hillsborough County Fair opens Thursday in Dover with Dollar Day admission

The annual event will include a mix of entertainment, agriculture
Published: 10/13/18
Updated: 10/14/18

Tell Me About It: While he finds his passion, sheís working overtime

"Ken" and I have been married five years, together nine. Ken is an amazing person; heís upbeat, handsome, charming, and thoughtful, but canít seem to stick to a job. He has a masterís in a high-paying technical field that cost his parents a fortune, ...
Published: 10/12/18
Rare okapi calf born at ZooTampa has died

Rare okapi calf born at ZooTampa has died

ZooTampa announced that the endangered okapi calf, born less than 2 months ago, has died of a diabetes-like condition.
Published: 10/11/18
Where to find Tampa Bay Halloween parties, pumpkin patches and events

Where to find Tampa Bay Halloween parties, pumpkin patches and events

Experience everything from kid-friendly events to horrifying haunted houses to spooky art projects this weekend in Tampa Bay.
Published: 10/11/18

Tell Me About It: Friendís fed up with her constant complaining

Q: Iím tearing my hair out over a friend whose life is demonstrably easier than mine in many ways, but who never stops complaining: She doesnít have enough money (her household income is 50 percent larger than mine). She doesnít have enough time (her...
Published: 10/11/18